Pages

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Somewhere Over the Rainbow - Israel Kamakawiwo'Ole



Mom is worse everyday..Dementia started setting in a few years ago. She is not diagnosed, but Grandma had it, and she has begun to act just like her.

My world is sad so often because of her gradual decline. She cussed me out today..This morning..And my heart felt like it was in a vise..I felt like a bird with a knot in my throat. And I cried...And I cried. So many tears.

I remembered her when I was little..Her mind sharp. She was working in the garden. And I stood at the window and watched her. I loved her pink shirt and her blue shorts. She looked so much younger than her actual age.

And I loved her..I still love her. But things are different now. She cries to me. "I am losing my mind."

And I say, "No Mom you aren't." But I know she is..Sorrow is like this wind tunnel that blows over me 1,000 miles an hour.

I wake everyday and I pray for her..God please let her have peace now. Let her be happy. For she has never really had the chance to be very happy.

Melancholy has wiped me out today. It has a temporary hold for a while.

I am working on the house and trying not to think about it too much. Because tomorrow is a new day.

love Nita

4 comments:

Out on the prairie said...

Love this version, a favorite song of mine.Just pounded it out today on a Goodwill organ for a lovely little girl.Dreams do come true.

Irene said...

I'm sorry you and your mom are having this terrible disease to deal with. I thought for sure I had run out of tears, but there always seem to be more. I wish my mom would at least get mad at me, then I would know she still knows me, not so. She's just there. Stay strong, if you can, know that you are the best thing for her right now, even if you feel helpless. Thanks for stopping by. Love to hear from you.

whitey said...

Oh Nita, I think we are in the same boat of life right now, though my moms mind is not to bad now, her health takes a little more out of her everyday. Sometimes I just sit and watch her and study her face so I wont forget her when she is gone. It is terribly hard.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear so much has been happening. I pray hope can grow for you. I know it's what's helped me.

About Me

My photo
I love beauty, whether it is in nature, literature or art. And I love music... My day feels incomplete if I haven't had a chance to listen to some good music.. I also love beautiful souls, and kind hearts.

Followers

Copyright@ 2007- 2013 by Nita Barrow- Zimmerman
all rights reserved. Please do not use my original art, photos, or reprint my writing without asking me for permission. Thank You...

Pick out one person a day to encourage.


Please pray for the protection of Israel.
And for the Jewish people who live there. May God give them the strength they need to defeat their enemies.
“To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.”
—G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936); writer, critic
"There will come
a time
when you believe
everything is finished.
That will be the beginning."
Louis L'Amour
(1908-1988)

"Wisdom is knowing what to do next;
virtue is doing it."
David Star
(1851-1931)
exert from
The Philosophy of Despair
It is never too late to be who you might have been.
George Eliot
Friendship is a sheltering tree.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
~Wishes are free~
So why not make one?
Psalm 138:7

Though I am surrounded by troubles, my God will preserve me against the anger of my enemies. He will clench His fist against my angry enemies! His Power will save me. The Lord will work out His plans for my life- for His faithful love endures forever.

Blog Archive

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
Bob Hope

How to Build a Fairy House

How to Build a Fairy House


Minature Quilt

Janet Bolton

Janet Bolton
Quilt and Textile Artist

Miniature Quilt

Miniature Quilt

Miniature Quilt

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Feed